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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683343">I Know My Limits</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Potts_913/pseuds/Raven_Potts_913'>Raven_Potts_913</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Autistic Tan [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF, Queer Eye more than a makeover</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Autism, AutisticTan, M/M, chosen family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:48:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Potts_913/pseuds/Raven_Potts_913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>the boys are doing press and Tan is struggling to cope but a heart to heart with his favourite brother might be just what he needs </p><p>as usual the story is better than the summary</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tan France/Rob France</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Autistic Tan [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1522217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Know My Limits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The boys were doing press for season six and they had been answering identical questions all day, who was their favriote hero, the hardest task, biggest transformation, then some questions about their personal lives and now Karamo was driving Tan and Antoni back to Ant’s apartment were the duo were staying then the others would head to bar then back to JVN’s apartment in the city. Tan sat in the bitch seat between Antoni and Bobby the former was already asleep with his head lying on Tan’s shoulder and the latter was deep in conversation with the two people in the front seats about plans for that night that mostly consisted on trying to help Johnathan get a boyfriend and getting drunk, so no one noticed the way Tan was fidgeting with his wedding ring or how quite he was being, no one noticed the tears in his eyes that he would never let fall, no one noticed the signs of the oncoming storm but why would they he thought to himself no one but Rob ever noticed so when Antoni’s apartment came into view Tan forced himself back into the real world and slipped back on the mask that he always wore around everyone but his husband and pretended to not feel so broken and resolved to call Rob when he got off from work “wake up baby boi” he said shaking Antoni gently as the other boys laughed at the duo who they had dubed the grandparents of their small group “see you boys tomorrow afternoon” Karamo said and Tan nodded “don’t drink too much boys” Antoni added getting out the car causing the other boys to roll their eyes “Yes Grandpa” johnny said before Tan shut the door on his brothers and he and Antoni headed up to the chef’s apartment after lighting his candles Antoni turned to Tan who was already curled up on the couch staring at his phone “I know it’s late but do you want some dinner before we go to bed Tanny” Antoni asked his friend as he watered the few real plants he had in his living room but when he got no answer from his favourite brother he sat down on the couch beside the man to see what he was staring at on his phone “Tanny I said are you hungry” the man looked away from his blank home screen “oh yeah thanks sweety just whatever you want though I don’t mind tonight” and Antoni just nodded he stood up and looked at Tan with a sad smile and a small amount of concern before walking into his kitchen. He was worried about his best friend why had he just been staring at a picture of Rob he hoped that the couple was ok, he knew first hand just how hard being on Queer eye was on relationships it had been the cause of his last two break ups but they had always been so strong but he didn’t want to dwell on this thought so he pushed it to the back of his mind and focused on what to make for dinner for him and his best friend and decided he would try and talk to Tan about it later.</p><p>Tan sat watching the clock on his phone tick on from 9:30 Rob would have finished his shift by now but he wanted to give Rob time to get down to his locker so he waited another five excruciating minutes before phoning his husband but still there was three rings before Rob picked up “hello” he said sounding very out of breath “Hi sorry” was all Tan said “don’t be babe what’s up” he asked normally he could tell when something was bothering his husband but not this time but Tan wouldn’t have called him this close to him finishing at work unless something was wrong and Tan definitely knew he was working as he knew Rob’s shift pattern just as well if not better than Rob did at this point in the marriage “I don’t know I just needed to hear you” he explained to his husband “ok just give me two seconds love” Rob said as put down his phone in his locker so he could get changed into his civis “ok I’m back Tan why don’t you tell me about your day then” Rob said “ok well we did Morning America then we went and did some things for people’s YouTube channel station then we had lunch then a few more interviews and now I’m back at Antoni’s and he’s cooking the two of us some late dinner before bed” Tan said he had no real recollection of who had all interviewed  them today it was such a blur for him “oh ok so a pretty typical day for a press day then” Rob asked his husband as he clocked out and headed for the door before he could be spotted and asked to cover another shift “yeah I suppose nothing to exciting to report here” Rob went on to explain his day in more detail than necessary as if Tan needed to hear his voice then that was exactly what Rob would give him by the end of the story Tan was feeling better than he had in a while but still not 100% “sounds like you had a hectic day Rob but at least you are off tomorrow” he said with a smile “TANNY FOOD”  Antoni called from the kitchen “sounds like your being summoned I’ll let you go but you can call me later if you want ok” Rob said and Tan agreed before saying his goodbyes and heading to the kitchen to eat “sorry I was on the phone with Rob” Tan said and Antoni smiled glad that his earlier fears were unfounded “that’s fine sweety here you go” he said handing Tan the plate it was a simple pasta dish “I decided not to make something to heavy so close to bed” Antoni explained and Tan just laughed “we really are the grandparents of the group aren’t we” he asked and Antoni nodded “yeah I guess we are” he laughed at his best friend but the smile soon disappeared when he saw Tan fidgeting with his ring, Rob had sent the four of them an email a few month ago with triggers and signs and tips to help prevent meltdowns and a few helpful tips for post meltdown and playing with his ring like that was a sign that a meltdown was on it’s way so Antoni quickly went through the list of triggers in his head</p><p>Change of routine without warning – NO today was like another press day Tan was used to them and knew well in advance what each day held they all did</p><p>Isolation – highly unlikely he had barley been alone all day the five of them always together doing interviews or travelling in the car</p><p>Over stimulation – maybe they had been super busy all day but none more so than any other press day and they didn’t usually cause meltdowns</p><p>Then suddenly it hit him one of Tan’s minimal triggers was talking about painful parts of his past and he had been telling the same story about skin bleaching as a teenager all day because they had a hero that season who had done it so as he looked across the table as his brother he took a breath “Tanny are you ok sweety”’ he asked causing Tan to look up from his now almost empty plate for the first time all meal “’huh, yeah I’m fine baby boi why” he asked “just today talking about Raheel and the skin bleaching so much” he asked trying his best not to say anything that may trigger a meltdown “oh yeah I’m ok I mean I am a bit distracted by it but I’m ok Ant I promise” he said taking his brother’s hand in his own and Antoni just nodded and picked up the plates after Tan let go of his hand  putting them both in the dish washer and setting it on before heading  into the living room were he sat down beside the Tan and putting his arm round the older man’s shoulders and took out his phone to check his insta feed shortly after he looked back over at Tan who was once again staring at the picture of him and Rob he had as him home screen “Tanny” he said causing the other man to look at him “I’m fine baby boi” he said with a small smile “I know you’ve told me that already I was just going to ask you if you wanted to watch some TV” he said and the other man nodded to he turned on the TV and handed the remote to Tan who put on Friends which the duo had been binging the past few nights since Tan came into the city after a few episodes Tan crawled onto Antoni’s lap but the chef didn’t think much of it all to used to both Tan and Johnathan doing this on a regular basis until he realised how tightly Tan was clinging to him so putting one arm around his best friend to steady him Antoni reached over for the remote and paused the show “Tanny are you sure you’re ok, I mean I get it if you don’t want to talk about it and I wont push you, but please know whatever it is I wont judge you not ever” Tan just dug his head into Antoni’s shoulder and took some deep breaths before looking at his brother “I can’t do this again tomorrow” he said clearly fighting back tears “I can’t talk about bleaching again without having a meltdown and the last thing I want is to have one on stage or in front of a camera I can’t, I can’t do it Ant I just can’t do it I,I,I” he began to cry and stumble over his words and Antoni froze for a moment wanting to pull his friend closer for comfort but unsure as to wither or not this was a meltdown or a panic attack but his unspoken question was answered for him when Tan pulled Antoni closer to himself for his own comfort “it’s ok Tanny, it’s ok I’m here just breath” he said as he gently rocked his friend back and forth for a short while until Tan was able to speak again “I, I know my own, limits” he said with shaky breath and Antoni nodded “of course you do and Tanny if it’s to much then you don’t have to talk about it we are all up there with you ok” he said with a smile placing a small kiss on his brother’s forehead, before returning to the show, shortly after he realised that Tan had fallen asleep in his arms so he took his brother to bed before calling Bobby to talk to the boys about what had just happened and they all decided that they needed to keep a better eye on him but also that from now on the four of them but mostly Johnathan as the groomer would field any questions about the skin bleaching to save Tan from having to relive the trauma, then Antoni said his goodbyes with a final reminder to not get to drunk he went and checked on Tan before going to his own room and going to bed leaving the door open in case Tan needed him in the night.</p>
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